Apologies to Mrs Crevice

We have recently been contacted by the Solicitors representing the well known music teacher Miss Veronica Goldsworthy Crevice who has recently celebrated her one hundred and eighth birthday at the care home where she is resident and still offering music instruction. We must offer our full and unconditional apologies to Mrs Crevice and regret any distress that might have been caused by a previous post. Furthermore we agree not to use Mrs Crevice in any future advertising material especially in conjunction with the trade name “Formaldehyde”


With those long and dark winter evenings now upon us surely it’s time to think about some basic “life improvement” that doesn’t involve adopting vegan principles or tying ones self in knots following tantric sex advice from Sting and Trudie ( don’t put your hip out old boy!). If you can separate yourself from your various devices - even for just half an hour a day - maybe it’s time to think about how we used to live. Yes go on do it - go on - there you go. Now that wasn’t too hard. If you need to take a break or go to a “safe space” then feel free. We can resume whenever you want. Don’t worry, this will only take very few minutes and then you will be free to get back to Facebook where you can spend the rest of the day posting favourably filtered photos of your spiffing, rollicking rollercoaster fun packed life for all your friends to see. But for now cast your mind back to a time when you still had original thoughts and dreamt of bikes and holidays and catapaults and fuzzy felt and wagon wheels and Barbie and Ken, and dreaded weekly pianos lessons with Mrs Crevice who had her hair tied back in a tight bun and inflicted music on her pupils with a mindbogglingly relentless ill humour. Remember her? Well good news boys and girls - that peculiar smell wasn’t moth balls - it was formaldehyde! And it can only keep an old harridan alive for so long. Yes yes yes she’s gone and in her place there now sit legions of youthful fun and friendly music teachers just waiting to reintroduce you to the long lost pleasures of simple uplifting, warming, fulfilling music learning for fun. Don’t pretend that at some point in your life you haven’t fantasized about breaking the monotony of a dull works party by unexpectedly, and to the great astonishment of your wage slave colleagues, striking up Great Balls of Fire on that neglected piano in the corner of the sterile hotel suite organised by your dullard managers for this colourless Christmas party. Of course you have. Now I know you are itching to get back to your I- phone x and of course feel naked and vulnerable without it. But just before you slip back into the digital present and feel compelled to take a selfie just to show your frightened and uncertain self that you still exist, take a moment and think of that great pioneer Jerry Lee Lewis astride that grand piano and ask yourself - could that be me? All blond quiff and gold sequined stage jacket. Yes - it could.

Piano Rentals from 27 per month - no deposit - call for further details

Musings from the Boss . . .

A real piano, with all it's hundreds of strings in tune with each other becomes like a living thing which feeds off the notes you play and hints at where your harmonies might take you next. This is why it is the most popular instrument of composers. Nobody loves a digital keyboard but it is not unknown for people to weep at losing an 'old friend' piano.

Today in fashion

We hear that 'norm-core' is very 'in' right now, hip young things up and down the land are dressing 'normal' and I think the staff at Pianoman need crediting with inventing this hot new fashion trend. Can someone let Vogue know? Thanksomuch.

Pro photography tips

We're upping our photography game here at Pianoman . . . we've invested in a large white board so far. I know, you thought we'd magicked a pristine white room up for photographing in. Tricked you.

Here is our expert board wallah at work -

A ship's piano

"What is this strange and wondrous delight?" I hear you exclaim.

Well my little ones, it is a rare and ingenious ships piano. Narrow in section with a folding keyboard, it is just the thing for your Thames barge or Norfolk Wherry or indeed an ambitious HMS Warrior back garden recreation. Please call for details and make sure you have a trusty boarding cutlass to hand.

A very Special Brinsmead Grand

We currently have in our showroom this intricately decorated grand by John Brinsmead and Sons.

John Brinsmead was a member of the National Academy of France, a chevalier of the Legion D'Honour and a Knight of the Portuguese Royal Order.

Brinsmead supplied pianos not only to Queen Victoria and King Edward VII but also the kings of Italy, Sweden, Bavaria and Portugal, The Shah of Persia and The Pope. A decorated grand was given to Queen Mary as a wedding present in 1893.

Brinsmead pianos were used exclusively by P&O liners due to their resistance to changing climate.

High quality decorated pianos like this are very scarce and would have been hugely expensive in their day. It would be nice to know in which stately pile this piano began it's long life.

We've just added a lot of new pianos to our stock page, including some that haven't left the workshop yet!

When you visit we're always more than happy to show you pianos that are in the process of being reconditioned in case there's something to suit you.

What width is an average piano?

The maximum width for an upright piano is 5ft. An average 7 octave piano will range from 50" - 58" wide. The space needed for your piano must be away from a radiator and on the ground floor*, come in and see us and we can find the perfect piano for your chosen spot.

We do sometimes have a 6 octave piano in stock, which are on average 45" wide, so it's worth calling us if you have very limited space. We would always recommend a 7 octave piano however as they offer a broader tonal range and cost the same as their smaller friends.


*if we are to deliver it: you'll need a specialist mover if you wish to put the piano upstairs: we're happy to recommend a good one in your area